Embracing the people-pleaser, achiever, perfectionist, attention seeker..

Embracing the people-pleaser, achiever, perfectionist, attention seeker and so much more…

We can often think healing is about ‘fixing’ all the parts of us that don’t seem to ‘fit’ into what we think society wants of us and/or all the parts of us we feel are wrong within us.

However, these parts of us never go away, not fully anyway!  And if we keep trying to ‘fix’ them this can often keep us stuck thinking there is something wrong with us.  We have spent decades using these copying mechanisms to help us feel safe, accepted, loved or just to fit in.  These are ingrained in us and here’s the thing… there is nothing wrong with this!

Yes, we don’t want them to endlessly run the show anymore, but sometimes they might just for a little while and that’s also OK to!

We are human beings with pasts, triggers, challenges, and traumas, we are not robots, so we have feelings, we react sometimes in ways we hope not to, but that’s part of living.

Learning to accept all these parts of us and even have conversations with them when they pop up from time to time brings peace. It brings regulation and resilience to the nervous system, and it releases tension, tightness, pain and much more in the body.

Our copying mechanisms will always try their best to help us cope, so maybe it’s time we accepted our past, so we have more peace in the present?

I will always be a people-pleaser, achiever, perfectionist, attention seeker and more, but as the years pass these run the show little less intensely and now when they do pop up, I speak to them and even laugh at the audacity of naughtiness for trying once more to run the show.

Our copying mechanisms kept us safe as they could, acceptance seems more fitting than rejecting them no?