You don’t need fixing

You don’t need fixing!

You don’t need fixing, you need accepting!  Often when I speak with clients and they realise they may be a ‘people pleaser’, ‘perfectionist, ‘achiever’, ‘helper’ or ‘sensitive’, they think they need to fix this.  That the only way to recover their health is to change the person they are.

I used to think this too!  I spent years trying to change myself, thinking if only I could stop being these things I could stop being unwell and unhappy.

But here’s the thing.  It’s part of us!  We’ve be like this for decades and if we keep thinking there are things wrong with us that need fixing we’ll keep finding things to fix.

What I’ve found is much more helpful is acceptance and acknowledgement, an honouring of that part of us that we’ve been trying to push away, thinking it’s bad in some way.

When we notice that the ‘people please/perfectionist/achiever/helper/sensitive’ is there running the show again instead of giving ourselves a hard time for it, we acknowledge it being there, we talk to it, we even (as I do) make a joke of it naughtily trying to take over again.  As soon as we accept it being there is loosens the hold it has over us and softens.

There is nothing in you that needs to change, it needs acknowledgment of the way it’s been trying to protect you in this crazy world and accepting these parts of us allows us to feel more peace more often and thus less nervous system dysregulation.