So today is Valentine’s day and, as with most Valentines day’s, everyone is out to show the people they love how much they really care about them.  But what about you?

How do you feel about yourself and how much of a hard time do you give yourself on a day to day basis?  You’re just as important as everyone else – more so, actually!

If you don’t look after yourself, how on earth are you going to look after everyone else?

How many times have you called yourself stupid, forgetful, fat, thin, thick or any other negative comments?  If you’re anything like I was, then you’ve done this a whole heap of times – not just now and again, but continually, throughout the day!

I’m guessing if you’re still doing this then you don’t know that this negative way of thinking about yourself does more than just make you more miserable and more self-hating?  Well it does.  It not only reinforces a negative habit within us but it also becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy! There is a chemical, and then physical reaction within our bodies every time we talk about ourselves in a negative way.

In Bruce Lipton’s book ‘The Biology of Belief’ he explains the exact science behind how this works, how it affects our cells and the way they behave and work in our body. This also creates and reinforces the neurological pathways within the brain, making it easier each time to think like this and create chemical reactions within the body which believe it or not, can actually make us fat, thin, bald, old etc.  What you believe really is what you become!

Have you seen articles about elderly runners completing marathons?  Or stories of terminal cancer patients defying all the odds?  These aren’t just miracles, or people getting lucky.  These are people actually believing in themselves, their lives, then their brain chemistry, their cellular community and their body following suit. In his book ‘It’s The Thought That Counts’, David Hamilton PhD explains how our body is hard-wired to feel every emotion we think and feel, how these emotions affect our overall health and how making small changes to how we feel about every day things can have a deep impact on illness, disease and pain.

You really are the master of your own destiny!

The relationship you have with yourself is the only one you have for your whole life, so why make it a miserable one?

Admittedly some of us need a little help along the way to make us feel good about ourselves.  But feeling good never comes from external influences.  It’s not the new clothes, the new man, the new job, the new home or even the new diet.  Whilst all these things may seem to help initially, they don’t last, not in the long run.  The only way to see permanent and authentic results is to be kind, nurturing, accepting and loving to ourselves.

If I asked you to list all the things you didn’t like about yourself then I’m sure you’d have a pre-prepared list, running on a loop in your head.  But what if I was to ask you what you liked about yourself?  Then what?  Can you think of anything?  If you have a deep negativity about yourself you may find it a little harder to come up with some ideas.  You may even say things like ‘there’s nothing I like about myself’.  Well I’m here to tell you that, that’s just not true (please don’t run away right now)! 

Do you like your toes?  If not, how about you ankles, elbow, eyes, eyelashes, eyebrows, lips, ears, hair, hands, arms or your bum?  I bet you like at least one of them, don’t you?  How about your ability to listen to others? Care for others? The love you have for your family?  You’re good with numbers/figures?  You have a good eye for detail?  You’re passionate?  A good cook? You work hard? You may feel people use you, but doesn’t that mean you’re a good, caring and loving person if people look to you for that support?

Start focusing on, and making lists about the things you’re good or even great at, and start focusing on these instead of what you perceive to be your negative traits.

Once you have started with the small things start making the list bigger, bolder and picking bigger and more important things about yourself. Underline things you’re really good at or that you really like about yourself, highlighting these for yourself.

Once you’ve done this, give these items more importance in your mind by renaming them with bolder titles.  If you like your lips, call them your ‘luscious lips’.  If you are good at quizzes then call yourself a ‘quiz master’.  If you are a great cook then call yourself a ‘master chef!’.  You may feel a little silly when you do this, but keep going, I bet you can’t help but smile at some of the things you write down.  They will make you happy and will help you to honestly see that there are many, very strong, powerful and positive things about yourself that you do actually like.

Keep this list with you at all times, add to the list  and read it when you’re feeling low and negative about yourself  – it will make you smile!

Remember that it pays to be kind to yourself. What I mean by this, is that you have to be very careful about the way you speak to, yourself – AND about yourself! So rather than telling yourself off all the time, tell yourself good things instead. Praise yourself for little things.  Keep a list of the things you’ve achieved each day, week, month and year, for those days when you are in a ‘I haven’t achieved anything mood’.  Rather than telling yourself off when you feel you’ve messed up why not show yourself the same kindness you would to someone else in the same situation.  The way you feel about yourself and your life will really start to change when you SHIFT YOUR FOCUS!

If you can start to love yourself like you love others, amazing things can happen, new chemical reactions happen throughout the body from these new habits.  

You’ve spent a lifetime loving everyone else, give yourself some of that love today!

Self Love Starts Today!